Andrew and Kathleen

Doraemon

Doraemon is a Japanese institution. Doraemon is a robot cat who helps a young Japanese boy called Nobita out of trouble with the use of magic gadgets. Incredibly sweet and funny.

Atashin'chi (My Family)

A lot of Japanese comic strips are about a typical Japanese family. Atashin'chi started as a comic strip on the Yomiuri Shimbun newspaper, and is about the daily lives of the Tachibani family, from the point of view of the daughter, Mikan. It's interesting how a tiny premise, such as Mikan being embarrassed by her parents wandering through the house naked after a bath, can be stretched to out to a 15 minute episode. This is my favourite show.

The theme song, Saraba is catchy, too!

Iitabi (Dreamy Trips)

This show sends Kathleen into fits of jealous rage every time she sees it. Which is every week - she loves watching food shows on TV more than anything else, especially when it's exotic Japanese food. Dreamy Trips is a travel program focussing specifically on traditional Japanese inns, onsens and food. It's one hour of people either sitting in an onsen, eating delicious-looking food, or travelling to the next onsen/meal. Travel, onsen, food, travel, onsen, food, and so on.

Especially hard to take is the 'filler', which normally consists of the hosts sitting on a train, constantly proclaiming "Onaka ga suita! Tabetai!" (My stomach's empty! I want to eat!). The fact that they were hoeing into a seven course meal not 5 seconds ago makes it worse.

They sit in the onsen, the women wearing their towels in the water, in clear breach of onsen etiquette. Where I go, no-one gets in the water without being naked. Why can't TV reflect real life?

Japanese people seem to really enjoy seafood that's still alive on the plate. Abalone gets barbecued, crayfish whacked with the cleaver and the wobbling flesh scooped out, and fish skewered.

Most of the places visited are in the price range of Y18,000 per person for an overnight stay with two meals and onsen.

Mecha Mecha Ike Teru (What A Cool We Are)

Absolutely bizarre comedy show with the duo 99 and a host of others. The main segment is a counting game where everyone dresses as bosozoku (motorcycle gang members). The loser fights a real sumo wrestler. Matt has a much better review.

Last Saturday (12/7/2003), they had a segment called "Tenoshi Party!" (enjoyable party). The aim was to stay awake the longest, after all the drinking, eating, and smoking that goes on at a Japanese party. 17 hours later, Okamura finally falls asleep. Only in Japan could you stay at home and watch other people having a party on TV.

SMAP Bistro

SMAP is a boy band here, wildly popular, and they appear on a number of variety shows. In SMAP Bistro, they divide into teams and have to cook for a judge.

Project X

Generally OK documentary series (it's the national broadcaster, after all), but September 17, 2002, stands out in our mind as an example of rivetting TV:

Tonight's heroes are the men responsible for inventing the bidet systems that have revolutionised the Japanese toilet and made its use such an enjoyable experience.

Can you believe a 45 minute documentary on toilets? Featuring way too much stock footage of bidets for my liking.

Music Awards

The Japanese 30th Music Awards was a great night for Japanese TV. We had many of the greatest musicians of our generation, Gackt, Ayumi, W-ind, together in one room. Could it get any better than this?

First of all, some advice to those wishing to put together a music awards show:

• Backup dancers should not sing along to the song. Remember, specialisation is the key! Besides, its distracting. The audience can't tell who the singer is.
• Singers should remember the words to their own songs. This means you, Ayumi, you weirdo. Fair enough you don't write the song, but its not like you have a hard gig.
• If its winter, please resist the temptation to have an outdoor concert in Hokkaido. That's just being mean to your audience.

My guide to becoming a J-Pop star is here.

Nani Daio!

One of the best things about Japanese variety shows is their visual aspect - often you don't need to understand Japanese to get the best out of it.

We watched a 'Candid Camera' type skit, where the fall guy had a small crocodile placed somewhere in his path, often just around the corner, or behind a door. He'd come along and spot it at the last minute, then jump back, startled.Invariably, he'd say "Nani daio?!" ("What the hell?") - every time!

They filmed him every day for six months. You'd think that you'd wise up after the first week or two, and be a bit more careful when walking around, but not our friend. Blithe and carefree, almost to the point of losing a limb, and then... "Nani daio!"

Anything with Morning Musume

Morning Musume are a Japanese group, consisting of anywhere between 7 and 487 (slight exaggeration) Japanese girls, all wearing different outfits. They apparently started as a manufactured J-pop group on a TV talent show in 1997 with 5 girls. With girls leaving to their own spin-off bands, there were suddenly over 40 in the various groups by 2000. Since the Japanese market just loves this cutesy crap, they're going gangbusters.

Unfortunately, each one has a different dance move, and the visual effect is so chaotic that it actually hurts to watch.

Wedding of Keiko and Komuro

"Oh my God." These were the only words we could manage as we watched what would have to have been one of the weirdest weddings ever. It was the wedding of 2 of Japan's "idols", or celebrities, Keiko and Komuro. They're singers in a band.

They allegedly spent a truckload of money on this thing, and boy did itshow. For a start, it was televised on tv. There was a panel of three commentators, and the show cut to them every time there was a break in proceedings.

Just in case you didn't read that last bit, let me repeat:

THEY HAD COMMENTATORS AT A BLOODY WEDDING!!!

Seemed like every time the camera cut away from Keiko, she had a costume change. I counted at least four different costumes.

And of course, since they were both singers, last came the obligatory duet. Only problem was that since she was crying buckets, her singing was out of tune. Really out of tune. Hands-over-your-ears out of tune. Capping it off was the fake snow that fell as she reached the coda.

It was truly a Great Moment in Japanese TV!

Tetsuyo Atom aka Astroboy

For such a tough robot, he talks like a girl. This show was so cool when I was growing up. Would've been a lot cooler if he didn't talk in such a high-pitched voice.

Gatchaman

No crappy overdub, no Casey Kasem, no 7 Zark 7 from Centre Neptune, no excised violence, this is BOTP as it was meant to be! Pity it has no English subtitles... 11.45pm on Saturday night, too. But, it's Gatchaman, the theme song is cool as, and a show that is still around 20 years later must be pretty good.